Cheesus

He has risen!

I forget the terminology, but essentially our brains are hard-wired to turn objects into something recognizable. It has something to do with how our eyes process images, so we turn random shapes like clouds into bunny rabbits. Or Cheetos into Jesus. Cheesus!

Anyways, some dude thinks this tasty snack has taken the form of Christ.

To me, it looks like a lump of yummy goodness. I love Cheetos. If Cheesus appeared in my snack pack, I'd never know. I tear open the bag and pour them down my throat. It's still a religious experience.

An Easter treat, indeed.

Jizz Grenade

Man arrested for jerking off and throwing his load at some lady in Target. I will never be able to look at that bullseyes logo the same way. Ready, aim, fire!

This also gives new meaning to "clean up on isle three." I guess he wasn't anywhere near the linens section at the time.

25-year-old Ricardo Jose Faulk turned himself into police after he was accused of masturbating in a Clackamas, Orgeon Target and throwing his seed on a customer. She immediately noticed hot jizz on her leg and went to security. Ricardo turned himself in after he learned police were looking for him. He was charged with misdemeanor harassment and later released.

I don't know what the hell she's complaining about. He was polite enough not to dump a load on her face. That's a gentleman.



Thanks Michael K for this heartwarming story!

Saturday Link Lust

LastSeason.com :: Major discounts on high quality clothes from the UK.

Get Human :: Aiming to convince enterprises that providing high quality customer service and having satisfied customers costs much less than providing low quality customer service and having unsatisfied customers.

Beauty.ImNotObsessed.com :: New style & beauty section on one of the web's fastest growing celebrity blogs. Men's grooming tips by yours truly!

Roids n Rants :: Unabashed gay porn. Fetish, erotic comics, hardcore men, leather daddy types, multi-ethnic, boy next-door gone bad peanut butter -- yah, like any of you bothered to read this far before clicking on the link.

Saturday Link Lust!!!

I thought I had a ton of these saved up in my drafts, but it turns out there were only three links I lusted over recently. Doing only one link per post may satisfy my daily quota for blog365, but it doesn't give you much -- I'm thinking of you, dear reader.

PLACES!
Fab Search :: Global travel & going out guide. Based on what's listed for Los Angeles, the list seems to include a range of prices -- but they fail to rate them by price or attire. Trust me, I've already emailed them about it. Still, if you're out somewhere completely new on holiday why not just pick something that looks fun and go with it? Carpe diem!


TOYS!
ToyArchive :: Rare and Unique toys of the 70's, 80's, and 90's. From Transformers to Star Wars, He-Man & She-Ra. Hands up if you read "toys" and thought "double-headed dildo," or similar.


KITTY!
Fishy :: The kitty fish song. From rather good, those disturbing yet oddly adorable singing cats. A must see. Truly.

LOL My Cat

ROFLbot :: Add text to any picture, without using Fireworks or Photoshop.

If by now you haven't belly laughed at LOL cats then you must have been living under a rock. Srsly.

It's a simple idea -- taking a picture of a furry friend and adding a funny caption -- yet also equally genius.

As usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short, meaning I'm barely squeezing in an update for my Blog 365 goal of a new post every single day. So today you get cats. LOL cats. Njoy.

Think you're a witty kitty? ican... also has a tool you can use to submit directly to their site.

Death Clock

When will you die? Ask the DEATH CLOCK

Erotic Ink

...more hot, freaky stuff at ModBlog

WikiWack

Like wiki, on crack.

Encyclopedia Dramatica

My Kind of Valentine

Candy Heart Generator

Anti-Speed Trap

Locate and report a speed trap in your area at speedtrap.org

Sponsored by the National Motorists Association

Butthash

This shit will get you high.

Sniffing glue and paint thinner? Totally passé. It's all about poop and pee. Yes, you read that correctly. Users are fermenting raw sewage to create a gas which is inhaled to get high.

Butthash!

Tricksters

Oh, you almost got me AT&T -- you tricky devils!

On this form, the phone giant asks you to "Provide us with the email address we should not contact"

Sadly, this probably works like 90-percent of the time.

More about marketing weasels from one of my new favorite reads, Avitable!

Link Lust

Toilets for big people

Who knew there were 15 Ways to Tie Your Shoes?

Kelly Rates VMA shoes, betch.

Link Lust

Trend: Douche Bagging

Shop: Spanglish T-Shirts

LOL: What Vogue models are really thinking

Giggle: Wow, I guess you really can set a fart on fire