Happy 420

Whore

Hands down, this is the hottest couple of 2008 so far.

She wanted a "spiritual and sexual experience," so the two broke into a church and did it on the altar. Fucking for Jesus!

"Deputies in MacClenny Florida said they found the door of the church busted out and undergarments scattered on the floor. They found Crystal Rowland, 24, hiding behind the pulpit and Matthew Pearce, 28, hiding in the crawl space under the church."

I don't know what God they pray to, but she's a dirty whore and I respect that. Dude is do-able in a white trash/terminator kind of way (seriously, what is with the eye). If he wanted to plow me in the Lord's house, I'd definitely let him go balls deep. That would be a sacrilegious and sexual experience, which is what I'm into.

When they go to court, I sincerely hope the case is officially refered to as Florida v. The Father, The Son and The Holy Seed.

Speaking of whores, this is the part where I unabashedly plug my new column for Young Hollywood.

We're not sure what we're calling it yet, it's a work in progress, but the content is good and that's the important part. If you like emerging artists and celebrity trends, you'll love my daily hot list. Its one part Hollywood, two parts sass.

I'm on a roll with this, so let's get really whoreific: please add WesFerguson.com to your blog roll so this site starts getting more traffic. I suck cock for a links! Ladies, I ... have two cute brothers and no issues pimping them out.

I also added a "share this" feature (below) so you can email my shit to friends or repost to mySpace, Facebook, Reddit and other share sites like that. It's easy. Like me.

Lastly, this site has an RSS feed so you can put me in your favorite reader and never have to click back here again.

I feel kind of dirty after all that self-promotion. Who wants to give me a sponge bath?

Cheesus

He has risen!

I forget the terminology, but essentially our brains are hard-wired to turn objects into something recognizable. It has something to do with how our eyes process images, so we turn random shapes like clouds into bunny rabbits. Or Cheetos into Jesus. Cheesus!

Anyways, some dude thinks this tasty snack has taken the form of Christ.

To me, it looks like a lump of yummy goodness. I love Cheetos. If Cheesus appeared in my snack pack, I'd never know. I tear open the bag and pour them down my throat. It's still a religious experience.

An Easter treat, indeed.